Dear Child of Mine,
As your mother, there are so many things I want you to know about the world, life, yourself and us. Every day I think of something else I want to tell you, things I think are important for you to know. Every day somewhere along the course of the day I don’t tell you, or get too busy, or forget altogether.
Well, today something happened that broke my heart. It reminded me how short life is and so I am writing you to tell you some of the things I should have told you long ago.
Life is going to be unfair, little one. It will be full of hardships and struggles, it will be hardest because you are going to see others who don’t have your struggles. It will be unfair because even though we are a family, your sister won’t have to fight the same battles you will. Your friends might have more than you and will look at your funny, when something little makes you feel like crying because they don’t understand how big it is.
Life is going to hand lots of situations that make you feel different. It will make you question who you are and what you want. Life will throw you curve balls and push you to your limits, almost as if it was trying to break you.
Remember little one when the going gets tough the tough get going. I know you will struggle and it breaks to think of it. I also know you’re so much stronger then you think you are. I know how kind and gentle you can be, how much you care for others, and the strength you find in protecting those you love.
And when it feels like you can’t be strong, when you feel exhausted and want to give in call me, hug me, or let me know.
I am not a perfect mommy. Sometimes I get mad and yell when I should be kind and compassionate. Sometimes I get so focused on other things, you feel invisible. Sometimes I am so busy, you feel like you never see me.
That doesn’t change the fact that I LOVE you! I always have and always will.
Sometimes I will give you unsolicited advice, or set boundaries you hate. Sometimes I will annoy and embarrass you, and you won’t want to be seen with me. Sometimes I will be uncool and you will wonder how I am our mom. Regardless of all this, I will always be here for you to lean on when you need me.
I can’t promise I will always have the right answers or what you need. I can’t promise I will always be able to give you what you might want.
But I will always have an ear to listen and hear what you’re saying. I will always have hugs to support and cover you in love. I will always do my best to be what you need to me to be in the moment (even if it’s not what you want).
I promise that each day I will love you and work on growing and being a better mom then I was the day before.